Open Letter to a Mama of a Newly Diagnosed Child

Dear Mama,

First I just want to give you huge hugs. I know no matter how much you anticipated this it's still a punch in the gut to her the words that your child is on the Autism Spectrum. Take a deep breath and let someone else take notes as the doctor talks.

First I want to tell you that it's okay to grieve, it's okay to mourn for the lost dreams, it's okay to rage at the universe that your child is facing huge challenges that you can't imagine right now.  It's okay to be depressed at the loss of your typical family. Please let your loved ones hold you tight, even as they say the wrong words please hear the love behind the words.

Remember that your child is the exact same child they were before those horrible words were uttered. Your child still loves bubbles, you and the family dog. That hasn't changed, the only thing that has changed is the label. Now you know why your child behaves the way they've already been behaving.

You are overwhelmed and that's understandable. There are so many options, bio med, conventional, ABA, floortime. Take a deep breath, you don't have to decide this moment. Your initiation will guide you, and you aren't married to any choice. If bio med speaks to you, and it doesn't work you can stop. If ABA is your first choice and it's not the right fit for your child you can stop at any time. Finding the right treatment is life changing, but don't let the pressure overwhelm you, it might be trial and error but you will find your way.

Remember the spectrum is wide. While there are some on the low end of the spectrum (my daughter included) there are many people who are independent and living their dreams. Your child is most likely under the age of 3. Please know that our children change so much like other children and that your child who is so behind now might catch up. Non verbal toddlers do learn to speak, and motor skills do come even if they are a little later.

Last please find a support group. Ask your child's teacher or your local hospital. Take care of your mental health, we are need to stay healthy both physically and emotionally so we can care for our little angels. I run an online support group and if you want to vent with people who understand please let me know and I will give you the details.

Signed with lots of support and hugs.

A Mama who understands.