The Unexpected Blessings of Autism

I was talking to a friend of an Autistic little boy a little older than Gracie. We started talking about how Autism has changed our families but also ourselves. We are completely different women and mothers than we were before we started our journeys. Here are some of the unexpected blessings of Autism.

1. I take life at a slower pace now. Gracie is not going to preform with her peers she is well below them in skills and we don't know if she will ever catch up. Most other almost 4 yr olds are busy preparing for pre k and kindergarten. They are busy learning their alphabets, number, colors, shapes and how to spell their names. Gracie is under to pressure, and we follow her lead.  At this point I don't even know what her age appropriate milestones even are.

2. I've learned to savior every single victory big and small. Even if Gracie says just a single word it's more than she said yesterday. If she poops and doesn't smear it all over than I dance around the house with her. Every time Gracie looks when I call her name, or does a simple task such as throwing away her own diaper we celebrate.

3. I've learned patience like I never dreamed of before. I thought I was patient before after all I was a wife and a mother, I'd survived colic, the terrible 2s and everything in between. Then when Gracie's Autism got severe and she began to meltdown many times a day I learned patience at another level. Now instead of losing my temper on the 3rd meltdown I hold her tightly as we rock and I hum. I feel helpless not knowing what upset her but desperately wanted to give her comfort in my arms. 

4. I've learned to to care what any one else thinks.  A couple of years ago I would have died of embarrassment if my child threw a fit in public, tried to take off her clothes, or wanted to carry around a lone shoe. But now all of that is common place and I don't care what anyone thinks about it. Gracie is different and always will be, a person might not notice it at first glance but they will see it at second glance. I don't have the luxury of caring about strangers opinions anymore. It's too draining and my family takes ever last ounce out of me as it is.

5. I've learned how to live in the moment. Once of the most amazing things about Gracie is she lives for now. She doesn't seem to remember yesterday and she has no concept of tomorrow. If she's happy she erupts into giggles simply because she feels good about right now, or if she starts crying something right now upset her. Gracie even has mood swings where she will go from laughing to crying for no apparent reason. I'm learning how to let yesterday go with Gracie and not worry about tomorrow because I can be happy for this one moment.