A good friend of mine who's son also has Autism just announced that she and her husband of 7 years are divorcing. I can't say that I'm surprised as Autism is all encompassing, it invades our lives and holds us hostage many marriages don't survive.
Autism has tested my marriage in ways I couldn't imagine before. After Gracie's diagnosis I like many mothers found myself completely focused on Gracie and understanding her Autism. I spent hours a day researching on the internet, I read books, I joined online communities. I tried every new thing I heard of to help Gracie, she became all I thought about, and all I spoke about. My wonderful husband felt left out. He wondered if he lost me to Autism, too. I'm lucky that we are able to talk about it and I'm doing better on focusing on our marriage too.
Another huge issue is that it's almost impossible for parents of Autism to go out alone. Finding caregivers is not easy. There is a look of horror on the last babysitter's face when I explained that Gracie is prone to public masturbation and poop smearing. I try to explain the horrific meltdowns, and her strict adherence to her schedule. Then when we do go out I'm consumed with worry. Since Gracie is non verbal if she is abused or mistreated she has no way to tell me.
I have found that taking time to have a non Autism or kid related conversation is important, as is dating after the kids go to bed.
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